You know how to say Requisites, right? The Python sryle. With an officious grin and a repitition of the last few sentences to indicate obsiquious pretention.

One dollar buys you all these "nationally advertised" products - and that's true in the sense that someone advertises nail polish nationally. It's just not these guys.

This offer came from the Baree line, which was so proud of itself it put its name in the smallest type possible.