The gleaming and dazzling skating style was not enough to entirely put the kibosh on the idea of anyone calling him Lazy Willie; it just sort of put the kibosh on it. But why would anyone call him Lazy Willie? Because he was a country-type feller, and that was a name of a Bobbie Gentry song. Hence the bayou references, which are only strengthened by the information that he comes from nothern New Jersey, where a "Lazy Willie" is a santitation-department truck driver who doesn't even bother coming in to get the check for his no-show job, but insists they mail it.

True fact: Jim's partner a few years before was Vera Wang, who'd go on to be a fashion designer. To this day she wakes in night sweats thinking about those skate-covering booties, and stays up until 4 AM designing simple black dresses. AS PENANCE.