Yippee burgers! So named because kids say “yippie” when they learn they’re not getting tomato soup for supper.

Terrifying words for burger lovers: heat the canned kind.

For a special authentic cookout, leave a wagon wheel on the ground! Imagine the despair the pioneers felt when the axle broke, and they couldn’t find an immediate replacement. They had to stop while paw went out looking for a tree. But there waren’t any. Then the savages appeared on the hilltop. Ma said “close your eyes, children,” but they couldn’t. They were Campbell kids. They had no lids. Sweet God, they saw everything.